今日的误解

别人常常都对我有些误解。

但是我觉得无所谓！

也常常有人说我的性格很固执，偏爱用自己的想法来做事。

这我也承认。不过我觉得每个人在成长中的每个阶段都有它们的领悟。

所以我不想去改变这些。因为我相信在不久的将来就会有所领悟。

我不想去争辩自己是个怎么样的人！

这些只留给那些真正懂我的人。:)

而此刻我的选择是沉默。然而却不代表我默认了你们的观点。

就好像我说的，我是个典型的瓶子。

当你们把手穿过那狭窄的瓶颈时，你们会发现里面其实有个无限大的空间

我的人并不像表面那么纯粹。我还是坚持那个特别的我

给父母

今天和妈妈通了电话。

最近日子难熬，但是我还是强忍泪水的告诉她！

语气坚强，但是辛酸的泪还是不停打滚。

虽然如此，我还是要母亲大人相信我。

我告诉她：我并没有后悔选择这条路。

是很理直气壮，但是很坚定！

我知道她很心痛她的宝贝女儿我，本来可以过的很好，却突然要面对这些问题。

但是有你们的爱，有老公的爱，有上帝的爱，我就真的足够了。

我没有放弃的理由，更没有要退让的理由。

请母亲和父亲大人一定要相信我！我可是从一出生就很幸运的让走进你们的生命。

所以接下来我相信自己必定能够把这条路走完。

谢谢你们付出的爱。生命中有你们相随，是我一生最大的获益！

妈妈，你们能够为我这样付出，因为我是你的女儿

同样的，也请你们相信我，晨蒽是我们的宝贝女儿，我们也必定像你们这样爱护我守护着她。

为了家，为了女儿，为了我们的将来 - 一定一定要相信我们能够做到。

不要担心我们，因为担心只会把福气给带走。祝福我们，让你们的爱围绕我们，给我们正面的力量！

My Baby Dreams

I have been having all sorts of crazy dreams lately.

Especially on babies!! Last night I dreamed that I was changing my baby's diaper. Except she was so tiny .. well I guess it was just my anxiety of fearing my baby will be born prematurely.

And then the view changed towards the baby ward.
I was there all alone, nobody was around, Hubby was no where to be found.
I was sitting there looking at newly born baby, all covered in blood (You expect them to be squeaky clean coming out from your womb? Of course there's blood coming in the picture somewhere!) and the crying. I was so thrilled. I touched her tiny little hand and she wrap her palms around my little finger.

I woke up feeling so real.. as If when I opened my eyes I could see her right away. But good things in all terms need to be waited upon. Another 3 - 5 more weeks to go I will be hugging my daughter. Finally, I am able to announced to the world that this is "MY DAUGHTER". :D :D

沿路的领悟。

今天别与以往，选择走路回家。短短的十分钟，但是感觉自己在这路途中领悟了许多。

很多时候我在想，是自己的心态吗？还是我只是没有办法认同别人的做事方法？
或许两者都有吧。说真的，自己还蛮自我的。
很多时候，当事情发生在我控制以外的范围，我就变的很歇斯底里。
当别人的决定，不是我所想要的时候我就开始钻牛角尖了。想多多！
但是庆幸的是，我很快看开！而且很快就能恢复原本的自己。
好笑吧？这就是我。

能够真正走进我生活的人其实不多。我承认自己没有办法接受一些人！
你们应该都有过类似的经历吧。
好像一些人，跟他们谈天能够一见如故，然而有一些人只能当点头之交。
在我生活中也常遇到这样的人。

说我为人犯贱，说我心中狭窄也好，有一些人跟他们相遇也只能点到为止。
但是能够触动我心的人，我可以跟他们谈很多，分享很多。

典型水瓶座的我，内心就好像瓶子一样。
当你穿过瓶颈，把手再往里面伸，其实你会发现我肚子里装满奇怪的想法。
所以，当别人从外表评估我是个怎么样的人时候，我会变的很纳闷。或许我讨厌被归类吧！
我会纳闷一些自以为很了解，自以为自己能够一眼看穿我的人对我下评论，就算是小事情我也会郁闷一阵。小气哦？

最近发现自己又再次沉醉在自己的空间里面了。
已经很久没有这样的感觉了！距离上次的隔离，应该有好几年了吧？
我好爱这样的隔离哦。让自己的思绪没有约束的蔓延，嗯，挺有意思的。
有时候就连某某人都万般感慨的告诉我：我真的搞不懂你在想什么！
其实不需要懂。只能说，我没有办法接受别人约束我的思想。
这最后一片净土，我想选择保留。至少在这边，我能够让自己沉淀一下下。
把负面的经过过滤，埋起来。其实就像人体一样，需要排毒。过不久再给你一个全新的我。

LIfe

Life is always full of mystery...

especially how we were conceived and being brought into this world.

I never fully appreciate what life is until this little human started growing in my womb.

It's amazing to see how your baby grow each day, from a tiny little embryo into a fully form fetus and then coming out to greet this world in a human form. As each day passes by they grow up, giving you different kind of experience..

I still remembered that day when I found out I was pregnant with Baby Ezra. I took a pregnancy test and it showed a faint pink line, thrilled I called Hubby and sent him a picture, he wasn't so sure either. In total I took four pregnancy test, 2 with faint line and 2 without anything. But I was positively sure I am pregnant! Then it was confirmed on Nov 3rd. Although initially Doc did an ultrasound which didn't showed anything, he asked me to go for a urine test.. Well, I guess you know the results. I was 4 weeks pregnant!! The looked on our faces just, the feeling is just so overwhelming, Hubby was smiling non stop and he practically told EVERYONE about it.

Went for a monthly scan a month later on Dec 1st and saw the baby for the first time. She was so small and Doc did a doppler scan, we listened as her heart beats 179bpm . I remember looking at the screen, hoping with all my heart that this baby can grow up healthily, nothing in this world could take her away from me. I felt bad actually when I DID consider an abortion because for my own, but I am glad I didn't! I am truly grateful I didn't do it.. If it wasn't for this baby, I will never ever be able to experience the meaning of life.

Thank You for coming into my life. ^^

久违了！

好久没有上来写东西了。哈哈~

明天就是母亲节！

难过的是，我没有办法陪我妈妈过，开心的是，明年今天我自己也即将庆祝哦。

今年还真是难忘的一年啊。宝宝在我肚子已经30周了~

星期三那天去看医生，看了3D图看到晨蒽的样子了。嘴巴嘟嘟的，像爸爸哦。:D

我的女儿，妈咪和爹地的宝贝。

我和老公的爱女~~~ 想到都开心。

有时候觉得我和老公的爱情故事很神，可是没有想到连怀上孩子也是那么的不可思议。

之前老公就想说：啊！如果我有个兔宝宝几好啊。

结果万万没有想到，真的给我怀上了一只可爱的兔女郎！（eh,兔女郎好像有点色色的）

就连怎么发现自己怀孕，怎么发现宝宝是女的过程都很妙。

感谢上帝那么眷顾。真的，失去了什么上帝一定会从另外一边弥补给你的。

愿上帝的恩典和奇迹继续发生在我们杨家哦。

p/s: 真的好像做梦一样。我已经有自己的家庭了！也即将要成为一个小生命的依赖，然后叫我妈妈了。现在的我啊，可是母性大发哦。嘻嘻嘻嘻。母亲节快乐啦~